The 64 Day Challenge

On December 14^th my father was told there was a 90% chance that he had a disease call ALS.  This disease: more widely known as Lou Gehrig’s disease, is a killer. Life expectancy for those afflicted ranges anywhere from 2 to 9 years, but eventually it gets you.  Unfortunately my family knew this because a dear friend’s Father passed from the disease. Here’s a definition on Wikipedia:

Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis is a form of motor neurone disease. ALS, sometimes called Maladie de Charcot, is a progressive,^[1] fatal, neurodegenerative disease caused by the degeneration of motor neurons, the nerve cells in the central nervous system that control voluntary muscle movement.

On December 29^th a miracle happened.  My father’s diagnosis was debunked by specialists at Columbia University.

Immediately after the diagnosis and throughout the weeks before our little miracle my family hunkered down and braced for a battle. There were no panicked phone calls.  Nobody complained, or flew into fits of hysteria.  We became immediately closer.  We gathered together. We analyzed our options, and discussed how we would deal with the coming challenges.  Friends and family sent emails of support and love.  Phone calls and small gatherings with friends showed us all how well loved my Father really is.  It was inspiring to see how much love and respect surrounds him.

Dad asked if anyone would join him at the movies one night soon after the diagnosis.  My brother and I accepted.  As I explained to family later; “every moment of that evening burnt so much brighter for me”.  It was as if I was so present I will never forget a moment of the evening for the rest of my life.

Dad’s Reaction:

On the third day after the initial diagnosis my Father stoically told my wife and me “it is what it is”.  Exclaiming “I don’t want your mother to be my care taker; I don’t want her to retire. I want her to be my partner.”  Wow. That’s love. That’s respect.  At his darkest moment, my father showed his true colors.  While facing death he expressed concern for his wife. Not one word of self pity.  Not one word of dark introspection.  I never heard “why me.”

Mom’s Reaction:

My mother calmly explained to me that she believed in the power of prayer. Her father had been given 3 months to live when my older brother was only a newborn.  My grandfather went on to live 25 more years. “Miracles are real Chris, believe this”.  I thought she was in denial.

I was wrong.

What I’ve learned from my Parents through all of this:

Dwelling on the perceived negative things in your life gives energy to those negative things.  Focusing on the positive thing in your life gives energy to those positive things.

Now what?

In honor of the lesson my parents have taught me through this crisis I’m challenging myself to give a gift every day for 64 days in a row in honor of Dad’s 64 yrs.  If fail to give a gift one of the days I have to start over.  I’ll be documenting the gifts on this blog.  If all goes well the challenge will conclude on March 9^th (my Grandfather’s birthday) – no, I didn’t plan it that way – it just happened…cool.

The idea was inspired by one of the audio books I’m currently listening to called 29 Gifts: How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life

If you feel so inclined to challenge yourself, then by all means please do so.  I’d love to hear about it here.  If there is enough of a response I will start a network so we can all share our stories. For now, this is just my little project, in honor of the courage my parents have shown during a dark time in their lives.  I’m in awe of them, and I want to take that positive energy I feel right now and pass it on.

Rules – The gift needs to be genuine, and I can’t seek reciprocation.   They will be as small or large as I feel appropriate. I’ll try to update the blog daily; however I’m sure it will “back up” from time to time. In that case I’ll add a few days in a row of gifts.

Gift #1  January 5th

Yesterday I gave away two extra tickets I had to a U2 concert to a couple with twin boys. When the recipient asked “why” I told him how much I know a night out means to couples with young children.  Disclosure – the husband happens to be a client, but I liked the idea that he’d be the one to get the tickets precisely because he’s not a close friend, and was utterly surprised when I offered.  He’s just a guy I respect.  He’s a hard worker, just bought a new house, and has two little ones at home.  So he’s in my “wheelhouse” and  no, I did not “expense” the tickets

Gift #2  January 6^th

I’ll write about today’s gift tomorrow, and so on…

Let the fun begin!